Living with Grace

Ephesians 4:26-32

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil. ²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Look back at the first two words in this verse…what does it say?

Be angry. When we are violated or treated unfairly or hurt, you need to know that the Holy Spirit gives us permission to be angry. Our feelings are validated; God created us to have emotions and anger is included in that.  So many times I hear people say, but we serve a loving and forgiving God. A God that is slow to anger and although all of this is true I think we are missing a part of it. All you have to do is open your Bible to the New Testament and take a look at some of the things that Jesus endured. He was angry at times and frustrated and flat out fed up with the disciples and others…the difference is in the 2^nd part of verse 26.

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

If we act like just because we are Christians we shouldn’t get angry and then try to put on some “spiritual” forefront on I believe a few things will happen:

#1. Anger left un-dealt with will turn into bitterness and resentment.

 So the question today is this, “how do we break the connection between being angry and sinning in our anger”?

For it is by grace we are saved.

I may only be 32 but I have also been with my husband for 13 years. I can tell you that grace has not always been offered in my home, and sometimes it still isn’t. Although Will & I are in a really good place in our marriage and in our walk with God this is still hard. We have both acted in hurtful ways to one another and we have both failed many times in the area of grace.

One thing that God has been pressing on my heart the last few years is this. Not only is he BIG enough to deal with my hurt and insecurity, he is just as equally BIG enough to deal with the ones who have hurt me.

Let me explain how this applies to the question. For example: When Will hurts my feelings my initial reaction is to go to him and shred him with my words, letting him know all he has done to hurt me and remind him of the long list of short comings I have saved over the last 13 years together…(you know we as women are really good at that).

 Instead of reacting off of my emotions I go find a quiet place and get down on my knees and tell it all to God. I vent…I vent it all, I don’t sugar coat my feelings or withhold words. After I am done I then ask him to forgive my sinful thoughts in my anger and ask him to heal my heart over it…and then I ask him to slay Will’s heart over it.

I’m not saying that I get up all happy and over it, but I do lay it at his feet and trust God to take care of it. I promise you, I have seen more victory in my marriage when I am obedient to do this then when I choose the other option.

 

1 Corinthians 13:1-7 says,

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. ² And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,^[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

You know this year has not been an easy one for me. Although I have had some really wonderful times spent depending upon the LORD to get me through this season, I’ve also realized that I have hit a wall recently and cannot break through it.

I knew for the first time I was experiencing a little more than the normal fear & anxiety I have been accustom to. When I was willing to be honest with myself and put a name to what I was feeling I was shocked. I am depressed…shockingly depressed. I really struggled with bringing in a third party. I felt so guilty that I wasn’t working this out on my own with God and let me say this…THAT IS THE ENEMY!!! There is nothing wrong with seeking help when needed. I’m hoping someone who needs to hear that today does.   

Last week I met with my Counselor with my list of the ABC’s of why I was there. I initially thought they were just a few things but as the appointment went on my ABC turned into DEF and G…

You see I was in the process of preparing a lesson on “Living with Grace”. I was struggling with what it I would be able to bring to the table on this subject, and just as God often has it I began a journey with him on grace…and I felt as I was being drug through the mud. I believe this happens so we not only have the ability to share from the knowledge of what God’s word says here but we can speak from experience with such personal application…which is often scary when looking at future lessons…

Within the first 5 minutes of our session she had me turn my Bible to Ephesians 4. I was so taken by what the verse said, a verse I had read many times but as I read it aloud and applied it to my life I became angry. I was angry that I have allowed the enemy to take real estate in my life and run free and wild with my bitterness.

I’m going to share with you some very expensive information for free, so listen close. Did you know that the problems and the hurt and the insecurities that you are struggling with today can be a direct reflection of the un-dealt anger from your past? If we have allowed our anger to turn into depression and malice and bitterness, then the circumstances we are facing right here, in the present and the future are directly being affected by it.

#2. Anger left un-dealt with eventually turns into depression.

You see the anger left unresolved has taken up residency in our heart and turned into part of our identity. How many of us attach our identity to our past?

So until we get this thing, or maybe its many things, out in the open and allow God to heal us over them and equip us with what we need to give grace over it the WE WILL NOT be able to move forward. For some of us it may be things that we haven’t thought about in years, for others it may be things that we are tormented by daily. Whatever it is we can’t ignore it…It has to be dealt with.

Let’s continue to read in Ephesians 4 picking up in verse 29.

²⁶ “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, ²⁷ nor give place to the devil. ²⁸ Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. ²⁹ Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. ³² And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Turn your Bibles to Ephesians 2:2-10

2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, ² in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, ³ among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

⁴ But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, ⁵ even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), ⁶ and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷ that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

The other night Will and I were talking about an ongoing situation in our family that is especially close to his heart. We have seen many times of improvement but once again things have taken a turn in the wrong direction. Will looked at me and said, “It’s so strange…I’m not even mad or frustrated this time.” I smiled and said, “that is grace.” His heart was tender to the situation but instead of the normal frustration and disappointment that he had felt all the times before he chose to offer grace. Undeserved grace. It’s against everything our flesh tells us to do but the power within it is so freeing.

It’s not about grace with limitations or stipulations. It’s about letting go and letting God deal with the anger and depending on his strength to be set free from it.

I’m a very visual learner so I needed for God to show me what offering Grace would look like for me, this is what he gave me:

G – giving up the control to the one who is in control (God)

R – receiving freedom over it

A – actions reflecting Christ

C – confidence in our Savior to be healed over it

E – everlasting peace

What if we really believed what this says? What if we were willing to leave our hurt and anger with God and trust him that this grace offering would bring forth those very things in our life? Even when they are NOT sorry for it...even when we can come up with more reasons than not that they don’t deserve it. What if we laid it all down to Him and awaited the peace, freedom and healing that God has waiting for us…what if? 

Do you know why it is so important to offer the sacrifice of grace? Because God knows what is coming next. He knows what is coming down the pike, and he knows what season we are about to enter into. He knows if it will be a season of Joy or a season of sifting…a season of grief or a season of freedom. And he knows exactly what we need spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally to walk through it with him victoriously.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 out of the NIV says,

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. ¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

 

This is my memory verse for this month. So precious to me and to my life that is such a work in progress. I’ve been seeking God consistently for the past eight years; but this verse has challenged me to seek him with all of my heart…not just part of it…he wants me to seek him with the hurt and the anger too.

 

When I came to back to the LORD eight years ago I was what you would call “radically saved”. It was sudden and drastic and so many people who were close to me could not understand it. I had spent my whole life prior to that knowing I believed in God but not having a clue what it was to have a real relationship with him. Then all of a sudden he was so real to me and I felt so small. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, but I suddenly understood what it meant to “fear” the LORD and I experienced in such a strange way the power and authority he had over my life.

 

I have tried during that time to let go of many things and try and understand the purpose of my life. My husband asked me on Sunday if I thought I was trying too hard to live perfect in my walk…it was the first time I had really looked at it like that.

 I was sharing all of this with my friend the other night and as I told her what Will said I threw in how I wanted so badly for this year to be my “Freedom year”. I wanted peace and a calm mind, I wanted to not be fearful and to not feel so exhausted all the time. Then she said to me something that has changed the direction of my walk. She said, “So basically what you are telling God is that the cross wasn’t enough.”

 

I heard a silence inside of me…yes, yes that is exactly what I have been thinking FOR EIGHT YEARS! How could I have missed this? How could I think that I am the one person that God’s Grace and the Cross would not cover? Who do I think I am…how could I have missed this…His Grace is enough...Accept it, receive it, turn from the ways of this world and by all means offer it. This is a gift, and not a single ounce of work or labor can earn it.

 I look at the many blessings that God has given me during the last eight years and I cringe to think what my life would have been like without my children and many, many other things. But I didn’t miss out on them because I changed my life, and I gave my heart to Jesus. The price was paid and it is done. I am washed by the blood and I have been made clean.

 

All of these years spent seeking God and serving him and trying so hard to make right all I had done wrong and yet the whole time I have missed it. I’m still learning, still trying to figure this whole thing out and really looking at what it means to offer the sacrifice of grace. Make no mistake that it is a sacrifice and maybe sometimes it will be the hardest thing that we do, but I am determined to be obedient.

 

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

 

As I close tonight I ask you to take today and think about what it is that God may be pressing on your heart to lay down and offer grace to, the same grace that is offered to you. Paid by the precious blood of Jesus.

Write it on an index card a commit to praying over it until you feel the strength and courage to let it go. Then prepare yourself for freedom and a sound mind.

 

Isaiah 40:31

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

 

 

Redeemed

Wow it’s been awhile since I have posted here. The last few months I felt distant and unmotivated even in some of the things that I love. Two of those things being writing and studying. A few days ago I picked myself up and prepared for the new year. I asked God to give me a word for this season I’m in and almost instantly I felt like he gave me “freedom and acceptance”. I wrote those two words in the front of my 2013 prayer journal and instantly felt a strange stillness inside of me. The stillness turned into emotion and then all of a sudden I burst forth with anticipation for what he has in store for me.

Amongst the last few months I was given the opportunity to teach (at our church) on living a life of contentment & a life devoted to offering a sacrifice of our best. Next week I will teach on living with grace…always perfect timing. Of course God knew where I would be at this time and knew what I would be dealing with and feeling in my heart. I tried to put words with the way I was feeling and I came up with resentment, validation and disappointment. I somewhat hit a wall with things and haven’t been able to break through it and honestly have dreaded preparing for next week.

It didn’t take long after I did a search in my Bible software on how many times grace is mentioned in the Bible (151 times) and really more than that if you look up the word favor to realize that what I was feeling was wrong. My Scripture verse for this month is “When you seek me you will find me when you search for me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13. Oh how true this is. You want to know God, search for him, you want to understand what Jesus did for you, then seek Him with all of your heart. Then get ready to experience something that is so unique and so real, something that for me changed every single aspect of my life. The first verse I read when researching grace was this, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed,” Romans 3:23-25. Hmmm, so God has passed over my sins that were previously committed and covered me with his grace. New perspective in unforgiveness in others.

I think some self-righteous actions have surfaced in me that I didn’t believe existed. I am dealing with them, God is dealing with them and that is never enjoyable, but none the less necessary. He has opened my eyes to a new way to love people. He has somehow shown me the innocence in people and it has somehow pierced my heart and changed my thoughts and actions…my feelings too. I believe that through this process I will be healed and when I receive the healing over it I will experience freedom over each individual thing that I am struggling with. Real freedom, freedom in Christ, the kind that is promised. (Gal 5:1, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.)
I have also experienced a higher than normal level of fear and anxiety, yes I know for those who know me are questioning how this could be possible, but it is sadly true. My new tangent that I am on is school and what the right choices are for my family, private school, public school, home school, charter school…the list goes on.
The problem that I am dealing with is that I am just not ready to let go yet.
I don’t mean in an unhealthy way, I just can’t get use to dropping my 7 year old off at the curb every morning and 8 hours later picking him up. I mean we care for these children every second of their lives. I have known where my son was and what he was doing at all times and then they turn 5 and we are just supposed to let them go. Who’s idea was this? Oh yeah…the Government. I have had family members and friends laugh at me and roll their eyes. I have analyzed if this is just co-dependency or idolism and although I am guilty at times of both with my children I feel that it is something different than that. I believe that we are to be disciples and we are to be a light in the dark world. I don’t want to shelter my children from reality or the world HOWEVER I do not want them to be so desensitized by the time they are 10 that evil and perverse ways of the world will not even effect them. If we are compliant to the ways of this world why wouldn’t we just eventually accept them and live by them. You are probably thinking that many of us already do in one way or another. Man have I ever been there…

Will and I went to the movies this weekend to see a well known musical that after 10 minutes had both of us realizing that musicals were not for us. Before we left, and since we had already paid for tickets, we walked over to a movie that was about to start. We made our way through a crowded theatre and asked people to move down so we could sit together in the only two seats left open. The movie started and the first scene was so offensive and crude that Will looked at me and without us having to say anything we stood up and walked out.

It’s not that I have never watched movies that weren’t like this one. I love romance comedies, but when they have taken risqué scenes and made them porn and language that was so foul that you couldn’t even make out what the topic was and call it “funny”, what’s left? How far will the next movie have to go to take it to the next level? What would it take for people to see enough and stop paying to watch them? Will and I walked out, not because we are too good or too spiritual, but because I could not sit there and cover my humiliation and how uncomfortable I was watching it. Everything in my spirit was saying get up, and I’m glad Will felt that way too. Do you know what the definition of Desensitized is: to make (a sensitized or hypersensitive individual) insensitive or nonreactive to a sensitizing agent or : to make emotionally insensitive or callous; specifically : to extinguish an emotional response (as of fear, anxiety, or guilt) to stimuli that formerly induced it.

I’ve never given up rated R movies, mainly because I don’t watch a lot of movies so it’s never been something I’ve had to consider. I watch a movie and if I get into it and don’t like it I turn it off. That night we were the only ones who walked out. I wondered how many rolled their eyes or laughed as we did, but what I really wondered was how many wanted to stand up and walk out too. And if you think out Jr. High and High School kids aren’t watching these movies, you’re wrong, there were plenty of them there that night.

It made me realize that we often compromise our walk with God because of the things we have come to accept as “normal”. I’m going to tell you that if we don’t put a stop to that habit now IT WILL backfire on us. It made me wonder how often I lose focus on seeking his will, not mine and how I have allowed myself to be desensitized in believing or accepting things that make God cringe.

As of now God hasn’t lead me in one way or another in what the best decision is for my children but I can tell you I am certainly anxiously awaiting the answer. Last week I wanted answers that lined up more with my will, not his. Today I gave up the game of “give and take” where I look to God to do the giving and “prayerfully” do the taking and refocused back on his plan for our life…for their life.

I guess in some strange way I keep waiting for the wrath that my past deserves to come raining down on my life and destroy it all. Yet God continues to rain down his mercy and grace over my life.

As I dropped my son off at school this morning I was thinking about that wrath and how fear has stolen my peace for so so long. A song came on the radio and spoke these words and I carved them in my heart today.

I am Redeemed…You set me free…so I’ll shake off these heavy chains and wipe every stain yeah I’m not who I used to be, I am redeemed…