***Follow up from Security in My Savior

I felt that this was important to tell you this after yesterday’s post. I always know after I write something if the Holy Spirit was woven through it from the responses I get. There are plenty of times, actually most of the time that I will make my weekly post and hear nothing at all. Then every once in a while I will have a response that is huge. I knew yesterday when I sat down that this was going to be one of those posts. It was not at all what I had in mind to say, but since I fully committed this blog to the sole glory of God I knew to completely step back and give Him full reign.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because as soon as I finished posting yesterday I felt attacked. I took on a sadness over different things that were going on and acted out my extreme frustrations on my husband and even my children. I found myself mad and eventually exhausted and had no real reasoning behind it. My point is this. If we are going to claim to be and step out of our comfort zones to live a life fully devoted to God, then we better get ready for war. The enemy takes no time at all to test us. All Satan has to do is throw a few curve balls to see how we react to them. Are we going to do and live the way we talk about in church and in our bible studies or are we going to crack under the pressure and react out of our flesh?

I am not one who talks about Satan much, nor do I give him much credit for the actions or situations in my life, however sometimes it is just necessary to call it what it is and put a stop to it right away. After I realized what was going on with me last night I loaded up my kids, took them for ice cream and went to the church to play basketball and volleyball. I tried to make amends with my husband this morning and opened my bible for a fresh word for today. This morning I had a friend who told me that she was feeling spiritually attacked today, it was then that I jumped on here to make this post. I opened a website and the scripture of the day was this. Ephesians 6:12-13, (I am going to give you the full verse for the Armor of God), ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Be strong in your decisions.

Don’t be fearful and do not fall for the devils schemes. We serve a God that is so much bigger than that. And remember, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7

Security in My Savior

Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up. James 4:10 

Man, do I ever need to be lifted up. I have literally sat in my chair and cried my heart out over two families that have lost loved ones in the last 24 hours. One was the young mother I had mentioned before who has left behind her 3 year old little girl and the other was a local 8^th grader who after 9 days of fighting for his life from a brain aneurism has went to be with the Lord. It’s hard to describe how through the body of Christ you can be so connected with others that you don’t even know. Somehow their pain becomes your pain and then we are all left with one thing in common…Jesus.

I thought it would be fitting to share with you the endless, limitless, countless love of Jesus today. I know some of you I may lose here but if you will just hang in here with me it will be so worth it. Some of you reading this may have a long history of knowing Him, others only read this because you are curious of what crazy thing I may write in here week after week. Whoever you are and where ever you have been or currently are at, you are welcome here.

So before we get started I want to pray. Heavenly Father, I ask you to take this time that each of us spends with you today to open our hearts for new things. I ask that you make the confusing parts of all of this clear and that you make the necessity of knowing you and serving you applicable in each of our lives. I pray that you would become so real to us and allow us to experience you in ways that we know that we know, who you are. Give us eyes to see you, hearts to love you and need to serve you. Heal us of our judgment and our hypocrisy. Give us the ability to know you and love you, for some of us even more. I ask this in your sons Holy saving name. Amen

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and sound mind.

I’m sorry, did He just say sound mind? Well count me in. I struggle so much with fear and dealing with anxious thoughts that this passage speaks mountains to me. Before I was saved I assumed that becoming a Christian was hard, and honestly weird. I didn’t want to make changes because I didn’t see the necessity for it. I didn’t even feel the need to worship or love something that was living way up in the sky somewhere and could never grasp a word from the Bible. Wow, I have come a long way. Do you want to know why I needed Jesus? Because he is the only one that could handle me. I put so much on people, high expectations, feelings and emotions, security, and you know what…they always let me down. The fact is it wasn’t their fault. It was just me trying to replace God with something else, trust me as long as you try this, and some will do it until they are put in the grave, it will never work and you will never be satisfied. I don’t want to spend my whole life unsatisfied, do you? I know a few of you are thinking, who do you think you are…I am satisfied, but are you really? Or do you constantly find yourself searching and trying new things to keep you going. Have you ever tried to take a week and just sit still?

This week I want to give you a little homework. Grab something to write on and title it this, “Finding Security in My Savior”. Then underneath it I want you to list 5 things that currently in your life make you feel secure. Then for the next 7 days I want you to pray over these things and ask God to show if these are things worth feeling secure over and if you need to replace anything with Him. Do you know what it means to replace something with Him? It is simple. Give Him authority over it. Stretch your faith, tell Him you trust Him in these areas and ask Him to give you peace over it. Ask Him to know what it means to love Him and to feel the love He has for you. Open up and talk it out with Him. Even in taking the first steps in being saved are so simple. Admit to God that you are a sinner and that without Grace we deserve hell. Ask Him to come into your heart and take authority over your life. Acknowledge that Jesus died on the cross for the salvation of your sins and to tear down the walls (the veil) that separated us from God. Ask God to help you understand that because of this sacrifice we have opportunity for real relationship, a true love romance relationship with Him. Ask forgiveness for your sins and daily seek Him.

If you made this decision today, or any day then talk to me or someone that is a Christian about it. It is the most important decision you could ever make in your life. Then hang on, because you are about to experience life and love in ways that were undesirable before.

It’s not that there is always this huge physical feeling when it comes to God, no doubt I feel Him often, but that isn’t what it is all about. It’s more the yearning to fulfill your gifts and your calling. It’s a separation from wanting what the world says you should want and needing what God created for you. It’s about loving Him and His people, and it is about the God given enjoyment of serving.  

He is a forgiving God, he pours out His mercy and grace on us and redeems the shame from our sins.

He is a loving God, who unconditionally loves us no matter the choice’s we have made or circumstance we choose.

He is also a God who Judges, and He does so in His righteousness and honor and glory for the love of His people and purpose of His Kingdom.

So come to Him. Surrender any thoughts you may have against Him. You can’t question who God is harder than I did or fight any harder against knowing Him than I did for many years. Then one day, after he had reached out to me some many times, He plainly said, “Enough”. I found myself trip lined flat on my face and after spending more time there than I wanted I slowly got the courage to limb by limb raise up into His loving arms. I wore myself out riding the fence, I am so glad I am miles away from it on the right side now.

I pray that God would give you clarity this week and move your heart to know him and for those of you who already know Him to know Him even more.

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love and sound mind…the rest is up to you. One of my favorite teachers often says, “Bend the knee or He’ll break them”. I’ve walked on crutches a time or two.

Be Blessed

I know not everyone is comfortable commenting, here is my e-mail if you ever need or want to talk about anything.
kd.watts2007@yahoo.com

Be Still

Be still and know I’m God. Anyone ever read that before? Better yet has anyone ever told you that before? I always tend to think what that person is really trying to say is, “Clearly you aren’t seeing what I am seeing and it is about to be a wreck, maybe you should slow down a little and revaluate things for a bit…and a healthy dose of Jesus would probably do you some good..” Or maybe out of my judgment and concern that is what I mean when I say that…who knows and I’m not fessing up.

This passage has been running a race through my mind lately and to tell you the truth, it has stressed me out a little. Be still, be still, well...that is not an easy task for me. You may as well tell me to be patient or to be content or worse, to be silent. I know that really all goes with the be still part but still, it’s hard.

I want to know what I’m doing, where I’m supposed to be and how I can serve. The opportunities are endless, but yet “Be Still” is all I hear. I tend to rush things or agree to things because they excite me. I am really having to learn how to obey and listen and to be led by faith. Not so easy for this chloric sanguine girl.

I feel like this year has started out with a bang, so many things to be thankful for and feel good about. Then yesterday I was watching the six o-clock morning news and they had mentioned that today was the day that most people give up on their resolutions. I thought to myself well that was short lived. Then I glanced at my bible sitting beside me on the table and thought to myself, didn’t I make a resolution to not turn on the TV until I had my alone time with God? Looks like I fell off the wagon before most of America did. Nice.

 Psalm 90:14 says,

¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

I have always thought that Moses probably wrote this first thing in the morning when he was all alone, just he and God. Took me right back to the importance of following through with our resolutions and commitments.

Since we are going there I guess I will confess that I had planned a fun day with my mom today, knowing that Thursday’s were the day I committed to God to stay home and spend time with Him. I had felt some guilt over it but not enough to cancel my plans. I just didn’t “feel” like staying at home and writing today. I woke up in the middle of the night with a terrible sore throat and ear infection, not to mention every muscle in my body shredded from a workout yesterday (another resolution). I guess He is taking this commitment more serious than I was. I literally sat in my chair in tears over how awful I felt. I asked Him to forgive me for not holding up to my end of the deal and promised to get up if He would make me better. I’m not sure if there was some magic in the Tylenol and hot tea or if He just poured out a little grace on me, but here I am. I actually ended up writing a few days for a study that I am working on thinking the whole time it was for the blog. I wanted to cry again when I realized it was separate.  

My point with all of this is this; God truly wants your time and your commitment. He has so many things to show you and guide you to. If we want to experience a real life relationship, it is like any other. It takes time and commitment and heart open to receive it.

I had written something earlier (in something else). I said, "to allow God to bring you true fulfillment it takes you to be willing to completely pour out the clutter." It doesn’t take much of the wrong ingredient to spoil the whole thing. You can't have both. Pour yourself out to Him and allow Him the space to fill you up. Take pride in your commitments and enjoy the seasons when He wants you to Be Still. It’s always calm before the storm, right? At least now I have the security in the One who is steering my vessel.

Psalm 144:1-2

Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle. He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliver, my shield, in whom I take refuge…

That never gets old.

   

Letting Go

For the last two weeks I have listened to these two words swirl around in my head. I kept thinking it was part to a song I had heard or something but then three days ago something happened. Will for the first time in our 11 years of marriage said, “I want us to take the next few days and write down our New Year’s resolutions.” A light went off and I could hardly wait to sit down with a pen a paper. Guess what the first thing was… #1. I am going to learn how to let some things go.

For the past few weeks I have allowed something to happen that I am so mad about. I started having these thoughts, and I mean strong emotional hurtful thoughts, over a situation that I have dealt with on and off my whole life. The strange part about this is that I had no real reason to get upset about it again. The sad part of all of this is that the person it involves is currently going through a horrible time and really needs me right now. One day as I was cleaning my house I realized that I had literally played out this situation/scenario in my head at least three times. I then stopped and realized that all this was really just fiery  darts from Satan. Ephesians 6:16, ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. I knew right away that his plan was to keep me from being who I needed to be for this person and have fought back ever since. So selfish, so tricky and man did it work.

The hardest part was that these thoughts had feelings attached and it is hard for me to just walk away and say I’m done. I had to lay them at His feet knowing that He is perfectly capable of handling it. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to just be fixed, I want to be healed.

 Why is it that we assume (or at least I do) that the enemy is so sneaky and hard to figure out when so many times we are the ones that make ourselves such easy targets. Listen, there are enough things going on in this world to make us all crazy. I read tonight off of our churches prayer list about a woman (in her mid-twenties) that is finally losing her battle with cancer and is leaving behind a precious 3 year old little girl. It is enough to send me straight to the bed. I also have sweet loved ones that I am praying for daily who are lost and have no plans of turning back. The sad part is that they feel that this possibly is God’s plan for their life and some even worse, they just stopped caring if it’s not.

There are loved ones who are broke and struggling and what’s even worse is that it has possibly left them with a broken marriage…a broken home. We live life everyday wearing the pain of others and yet forget to look at how Satan messes with our own. I could go on and on and cry my eyes out over it but the only thing I know to do is this. Learn to let go, learn to forgive and by all means find some security in our savior. I just cracked open the book So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. I have only read the first 6 pages and I can tell you it is going to be great. I told a friend today that I know insecurity is the core of my control, the center of my judgment and the fire of my pride…and I’m sick of it.

Galatians 5:13-26 says,

Life by the Spirit

¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 15} If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

So here are a few of my resolution’s for 2012 in hopes of walking more freely in the Spirit, feel free to share yours.

1.    To let go of some past hurt and to be willing to let God heal me in the areas of the insecurities that was birthed from them.

2.    Let go of FEAR, ANXIOUS THOUGHTS and Lord help me the relentless feeling of so often being OVEWHELMED!!! I mean I seriously gave up everything that took the edge off and swear that I am one phone call away from getting medication for it. I literally told God the other night to heal me in these areas or allow me permission to take something for it…grin.

3.    To embrace the doors that God is opening for me. In church, in my home and possibly in writing. Feel free to pray for me in this area, I could really use it.

4.    To lower my expectations of myself (I can’t believe I am putting this one out there). Enough said.

 I want to hear from you! Be blessed.