Letting Go

For the last two weeks I have listened to these two words swirl around in my head. I kept thinking it was part to a song I had heard or something but then three days ago something happened. Will for the first time in our 11 years of marriage said, “I want us to take the next few days and write down our New Year’s resolutions.” A light went off and I could hardly wait to sit down with a pen a paper. Guess what the first thing was… #1. I am going to learn how to let some things go.

For the past few weeks I have allowed something to happen that I am so mad about. I started having these thoughts, and I mean strong emotional hurtful thoughts, over a situation that I have dealt with on and off my whole life. The strange part about this is that I had no real reason to get upset about it again. The sad part of all of this is that the person it involves is currently going through a horrible time and really needs me right now. One day as I was cleaning my house I realized that I had literally played out this situation/scenario in my head at least three times. I then stopped and realized that all this was really just fiery  darts from Satan. Ephesians 6:16, ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. I knew right away that his plan was to keep me from being who I needed to be for this person and have fought back ever since. So selfish, so tricky and man did it work.

The hardest part was that these thoughts had feelings attached and it is hard for me to just walk away and say I’m done. I had to lay them at His feet knowing that He is perfectly capable of handling it. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to just be fixed, I want to be healed.

 Why is it that we assume (or at least I do) that the enemy is so sneaky and hard to figure out when so many times we are the ones that make ourselves such easy targets. Listen, there are enough things going on in this world to make us all crazy. I read tonight off of our churches prayer list about a woman (in her mid-twenties) that is finally losing her battle with cancer and is leaving behind a precious 3 year old little girl. It is enough to send me straight to the bed. I also have sweet loved ones that I am praying for daily who are lost and have no plans of turning back. The sad part is that they feel that this possibly is God’s plan for their life and some even worse, they just stopped caring if it’s not.

There are loved ones who are broke and struggling and what’s even worse is that it has possibly left them with a broken marriage…a broken home. We live life everyday wearing the pain of others and yet forget to look at how Satan messes with our own. I could go on and on and cry my eyes out over it but the only thing I know to do is this. Learn to let go, learn to forgive and by all means find some security in our savior. I just cracked open the book So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. I have only read the first 6 pages and I can tell you it is going to be great. I told a friend today that I know insecurity is the core of my control, the center of my judgment and the fire of my pride…and I’m sick of it.

Galatians 5:13-26 says,

Life by the Spirit

¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^{[b] 15} If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

So here are a few of my resolution’s for 2012 in hopes of walking more freely in the Spirit, feel free to share yours.

1.    To let go of some past hurt and to be willing to let God heal me in the areas of the insecurities that was birthed from them.

2.    Let go of FEAR, ANXIOUS THOUGHTS and Lord help me the relentless feeling of so often being OVEWHELMED!!! I mean I seriously gave up everything that took the edge off and swear that I am one phone call away from getting medication for it. I literally told God the other night to heal me in these areas or allow me permission to take something for it…grin.

3.    To embrace the doors that God is opening for me. In church, in my home and possibly in writing. Feel free to pray for me in this area, I could really use it.

4.    To lower my expectations of myself (I can’t believe I am putting this one out there). Enough said.

 I want to hear from you! Be blessed.