Holding on to Hope 4

Does God really care about our sorrow?

Psalm 34:18, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Please stop here and follow the link below to a short video that is crucial for you to watch to get the fullness of today’s topic.

http://lifetoday.org/video/?search=Beth%20Moore then look for the video that is dated Wednesday, June 27^th, 2012. Don’t forget you can fast forward to 7:39 to start the story that I want you to hear.

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He doesn’t look at you in the middle of this storm and in the middle of these raging waters and say, “I sure hope she is a good swimmer, I guess we’ll just wait and see.” Are you kidding? That is not the God that we serve. Sometimes we are the vessel that God uses to speak a word to just like you just watched with Beth, and then sometimes we are the one who has a need and God begins to prepare the heart of someone else to tend to us.

Deuteronomy 31:6 says,
  ⁶ Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

My question for you tonight is, “Do you believe that?”

My biggest experiences that I have had with God and the times that I have been pulled furthest out of my comfort zone are the times when God lays something on my heart for someone. You always know when this takes place because you can feel the HS pressing so heavily upon it. I will tell you that almost every time I have internally fought with God over it, but when I pushed away the pride and humility and bent the knee, the most beautiful thing takes place. Through our obedience…He uses us.

Let me ask you this, what is the worst thing that could happen to you if were obedient to God and went to the very person that God has laid on your heart and shared with them what it was he had to say. I know several times I have even started the conversation out like this, “I know this sounds crazy but God loves you so much that I believe he has laid this on my heart to share with you.

A few years after I had given my life over to Christ I felt God molding my heart in the direction of women’s ministry. I had really struggled with this and still dealt with so much pride and humility over the changes that God was requiring me to make. I wasn’t sure how it would really look like and was even more worried about when he showed me what it looked like how I would be able to conform to it. One day I had called my step mom Mona in a slight panic over some things that God had been revealing to me and she said this, “Why are you so worried about acting or looking like a fool for Jesus, when you have acted a fool for Satan for so long?” Isn’t that the truth…

I’m going to share with you that although God may have given me the opportunity to stand up here for these 8 weeks and share with you the things that he has laid upon my heart; don’t think for a second that he isn’t using this opportunity also to reveal to me every week the areas of my life that still need to be sifted and changed. Whether it is dealing with the humility of mispronouncing words or the nerves that some weeks I can’t shake. Or the simple fact that my mouth at times over speaks my faith, He is sure to let me know that it is not about me. We are a group of women from all types of walks and each with a different story. God has placed us here together to grow and learn and receive the freedom and healing he was waiting for us.

So the question is, Does God really care about the hurt and pain and insecurities that we hold inside? Let’s take a look at what the Bible says about that.

Psalm 139 says,

O Lord, you have searched me
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O Lord.
⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. (Jesus…)

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

He knows our needs, even when we just need our hair brushed…I think we all know that there was way more than a physical need met there.

You see I think we can hear all these wonderful things about Gods love for us and the power of the cross. We can listen to how guilt is not from God and that it is a crafty scheme from the devil and how we are to gear up and fight against the strongholds that the enemy tries to lure us into. We can be taught what the word of God says about our life here on earth and the gift of eternal salvation and how one of the few things that we are promised here on earth are the day that we are born and the day that we die.

We've spent each week leading up to this one sifting through the ultimate plan and purpose for this tragedy and yet day after day some of us are still just as lost, if not more lost, then when we started. We can slap scripture cards over every inch of our homes, cars and offices and show up for Bible study and church every week, and continue to walk through every physical step known to man to find some reasoning in all of it. But all of that will not mean a thing if we don’t believe and accept that our Father loves us and cares for us and is capable of healing our hearts and filling this emptiness in our life.

We have to come to a place with him, a place that no one can bring you to other then you and Jesus himself. It has to be built on the foundation of trust, in which some of us have lost through this storm, and the willingness to be healed. Matthew 10:30 says, But the very hairs on your head are numbered.

We are left with one vital choice, are we going to choose fear or faith? The definition of faith that we as Christians live by is this, Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11

I don’t know about you but I can tell you from my experiences in the storms of this unruly life have rarely offered me a clear picture as to why they are taking place. It isn’t until I am willing to grab hold to the uncertainty of what it is that I’m going through and lay it at the feet of Jesus that I begin to understand the hope in which I have in my LORD. And then I have to choose to stay on my knees until my faith and my hope in my God carries me to the other side.   

I wanted this scripture to be what I prayed over us tonight in closing.

Ephesians 1:17-23
¹⁷ I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸ I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, ²⁰ which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹ far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²² And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³ which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

I wish I knew how to put a song on here so you could here this.

He knows my name

I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call

Holding on to Hope Part 3

I'm late on posting the notes for the bible study. Please keep praying for us as we continue to press on through his word and love and mercy...

If you did your homework this week then this verse should be a fresh word for you. If you did not do your homework please take the time to catch up, Nancy Guthrie did a beautiful job comparing scripture on the power and authority of our God.

And just like in our study we are going to travel all over Gods word tonight.

*Open your bible to Psalm 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”…

I was asked this question at a Beth Moore Bible Study a few years ago and it completely changed my relationship with God.

Question: Do you believe that God is more of a taker than a giver?

And that your rewards will only be received in heaven and not here on earth?

While I share mine I want you to think about your answer on this one.

For me this was the first time I heard someone put into words the fear and the distrust that I carried in my heart with God. I was so taken back by what this question meant to me and more importantly that my answer was sadly yes.

I can tell you that this is the big one for me still. I want to trust God fully and with everything that I have. But when it comes down to certain things I cannot lay them down. I’ve begged God not to have me learn the hard way on this one. I want to accept his love for me and my family and I want to accept His grace.

Then God throws me into the mix of this Bible Study and in the midst of your stories and your tragedies and I want to crawl up under a rock and hide. I’m thinking God I’m trusting you with these things in my life but yet I’m sitting here in this room with these women and they are going through it, through those exact things that I fear…and I have to look at each of them every week, into their eyes full of sorrow and full of pain…and offer them what?

How can we look at each other with the situations that we have been dealt and say that we don’t believe that God is more of a taker then a giver? I think if we are just being honest then we would say our hearts are shattered and our trust is broken and although we love God, we aren’t sure how to be ok with what has happened.

Isaiah 40:28-31 says,  

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator^(C) of the ends of the earth.^(D) He will not grow tired or weary,^(E) and his understanding no one can fathom.^{(F) 29} He gives strength^(G) to the weary^(H) and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men^(I) stumble and fall;^{(J) 31} but those who hope^(K) in the Lord
will renew their strength.^(L) They will soar on wings like eagles;^(M) they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.^(N)

Isaiah 41:10 says,

¹⁰ So do not fear,^(A) for I am with you;^(B) do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen^(C) you and help^(D) you;
I will uphold you^(E) with my righteous right hand.^(F)

Isaiah 45:7

I am the Lord, and there is no other.
⁷ I form the light and create darkness,^(D)
I bring prosperity and create disaster;^(E) I, the Lord, do all these things.

We hear these words, and I don’t know about you but as wonderful as they are my first response is, them why, why is all of this happening?

I told you last week that we have lost 3 inner circle people in my family in less than 2 years. Last August I sat at my 48 year old step moms funeral and listened to the preacher say this, “Mona Pennington was born December 24^th 1963 and died August 28, 2011. And as he pointed to her casket he said this, “and she was promised nothing more than this.”

Silence fell across the room and it was then that I realized, just as Nancy talked about through the life of Job, that this life is a precious gift. When we receive it we need to grab hold and savior it for everything it is worth and when it has expired we need to let it go and praise God for the blessings it brought to our life.

Mona was a godly woman and one that in the last 15 years had fully devoted herself to service in the Kingdom of God. She had a powerful calling on her life that we were able to watch unfold page by page, then all of a sudden sickness took over and we knew that hand of God was not going to heal her but to pick her up and take her home. I remember at her funeral looking at her 20 year old daughter and 15 year old son thinking “how are they ever going to understand this?” Then the words of the preacher rang in my ears again…”She was promised nothing more than this.”

Right before she passed God had laid this scripture on my heart to give to her. I know it’s one we are probably familiar with but the words are so simple and true.

Ecclesiastes 3

3 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

² A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
³ A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
⁴ A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
⁵ A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
⁷ A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
⁸ A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

⁹ What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? ¹⁰ I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

¹² I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, ¹³ and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

¹⁴ I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
¹⁵ That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.

I wonder what would happen if in the midst of our raging waters we could breathe in long enough to praise Him in this storm…

Could we trust him enough to know that his ways are bigger than ours and even though it makes no sense to us we can move toward trusting him in the midst of our hurt, our anger and our sorrow?

Do you believe that like Job he can make all things new and in turn bless our life with a double portion of his mercy and love?

When tragedy strikes, we go into survival mode, but are we geared up and ready to fight? And if so are we covered in the right armor?

You know where I am going next…and if you write in your bible and you don’t have this portion of scripture underlined then I’m going to give you a minute to turn there so you can do that.

*Turn to Ephesians 6:10-18,

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Listen; let’s not let the familiar words of these verses fall short of the power that they carry.  Read them again as if it was your first time and for some of you if it is your first time then take it all in and ask God to give you a heart to receive it and a mind to conceive it.

We don’t know why this thing has taken place in our lives or why and for what purpose God allowed it, maybe in some strange way that is the unforeseen beauty about it. Do we believe that he can turn these ashes into beauty? If you remember Ecclesiastics said “He has made everything beautiful in its time”.

So, in the midst of our raging waters would we be willing to call out to him in worship.

I want to read what Nancy has written in the chapter of the book Worship.

“When our skin is pricked by a thorn, what comes out is what’s inside: blood. When our lives are pricked by difficulty, what comes out is what’s inside. For some of us, it is selfishness, pride, bitterness and anger that comes seeping out. For others, it is the fruit of the Spirit-love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). What came out when Job was not just pricked, but pierced, was worship. (Page 17)

“Surely our worship in the midst of pain and sorrow is particularly precious to God-because it costs us so much. Worship is not made easier, but it becomes all the more meaningful when offered from a heart that is hurting.” (Page 18)

“because we are acutely aware of our desperate need for God and our own incapacitating weakness. We have our helplessness and inadequacy in proper perspective to God’s power and sufficiency.”

We will close with this:

1 Chronicles 29:11-13

¹¹ Yours, O Lord, is the greatness,
The power and the glory,
The victory and the majesty;
For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours;
Yours is the kingdom, O Lord,
And You are exalted as head over all.
¹² Both riches and honor come from You,
And You reign over all.
In Your hand is power and might;
In Your hand it is to make great
And to give strength to all.

¹³ “Now therefore, our God,
We thank You
And praise Your glorious name.

Holding onto Hope Part 2

Ok, here are my notes from last weeks study. Again they are just notes and not a normal writting. PLEASE stop and read the story in Acts 27 when you get to that part. No time to really edit them today...busy trying to complete my notes for tonight. Say a prayer for us!!!

Last week we talked about the 3 visuals that we are going to use throughout the remaining parts of this study. They are:

The calm before the storm: The place we spend most time

Raging Waters: The reason we are probably here

Still Waters: The cove of His peace and rest

Tonight we are going to hit the Raging Waters head on.

If you have your bible turn with me to Isaiah 43:2

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

What I want us to look at in this scripture reference is that this passage says nothing about “if”…it says when “when”.

When you pass through the waters…when you pass through the rivers…when you walk through the fire…

Today we are going to read about a story where some people we may know are in the midst of a literal storm and to say the least…the waters were raging.

So open your Bibles to Acts 27 - The Storm (give some history on Paul and what he was doing).

While I am reading this I want you to be thinking about the storm that you are facing and how the waters feel.

Read Acts 27:9-44 - STOP here and read!!! or go to biblegateway.org

I realize that the story that we just read was a literal storm and we are using the storm as a metaphor but what I don’t want you to miss is this.

·       No one could jump ship or no one would survive

-Philippians 4:13  I can do all this through him who gives me strength

·       They had to keep up their courage

-         Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

·       They had to do what they needed to do physically (in their case eat) to survive / Someone needs to hear this tonight

-         Romans 12:1-2, Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ² Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

 God could have calmed the sea but instead he made them ride out the storm. Why?

1.    I believe that in the midst of the stormiest weather we realize at some point that we are not in control, we turn to him and form a trust that is more intense then when the waters are calm.  

2.    In the midst of a storm we tend to see God in a different light, we not only know that he is God, he becomes God Almighty and we are frightened by his power and authority he has over our life and over our loved ones even if we don’t understand it.

3.    We are flat out too tired to fight against him anymore and hand over the wheel.

As long as we live here on planet earth we will in some form or fashion deal with suffering and loss. I think some of us get this false notion that when we devote our life to Christ that means that nothing bad will ever happen. And sometimes when bad things happen we are plagued with guilt that if we would have only done things differently or given more or lived life as a better Christian then these things would not have happened.

When the fact is we know that we will face trials and tribulations, the hardest part of it is dealing with the reminisce of the suffering and loss they leave behind.

We need to know that guilt does not come from God.                       

Don’t misunderstand me here. When we received Christ we were given the gift of the Holy Spirit, If we are living in sin then we need to know that there are consequences for that, and the guilt you feel is coming from the HS doing its job. However, if you have repented of that sin and turned to God and asked for forgiveness then that sin has been wiped away

I felt like God wanted to me say this tonight and if this strikes a chord in you then listen closely:

 If for any reason you are dealing with an enormous amount of guilt over something that you have sought godly repentance over then you need to know that is not from our God, that is from the enemy…

AND if you are for some reason carrying around guilt over the specific thing that has brought you here to this bible study then you need to know that is not God’s will for you and I want to one on one pray for you tonight.

We are free to live free from the guilt through Jesus Christ. And Let me dare to say that if we choose to not live free from that guilt then we are playing with fire and handing over authority over our life to something that can bind us up so fast we won’t be able to get ourselves loose. I have done this one…and I can promise you this one (guilt) takes on many forms in our life and it slips into every crack a crevasse and then before we know it, before we meant for it…we are enslaved to it.

Galatians 5:1

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.^(A) Stand firm,^(B) then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

We need to know that when we are forgiven over something and God heals us from the guilt and shame we have over it then that is it. If we are still carrying around the guilt over the thing, then we aren’t accepting God’s grace and love and then we are ultimately altering the power and the purpose of the cross.

Romans 8:35-39

Can anything separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears today, our worries tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away. Whether we are high above in the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I know that life isn’t fair, but our God will heal our wounds. I think we need to just be honest with Him. I just recently went through the loss of a very important person in my life and all I think I said to God (aside praising Him that he finally accepted Him) for the last two months is that “my feelings are just hurt over it”. I’m not mad at Him, I’m just hurt over the loss and the huge void that it has added to the other voids in my life.

I do know this, even if I haven’t seen it yet or felt it. The reason for our suffering is to ultimately glorify God. I want to Glorify God when my life is good but I also want to love Him enough to Glorify Him when it’s the hardest.

I want to cut the ties that are binding me to the things that are pulling my under and live free through the love and mercy he has promised us.

Holding on to Hope

Philippians 1:12-14

Lord after this suffering, let it be said that what has happened to me has really served to advance the Gospel. As a result make my Savior clear to all those around me. Because of my suffering and willing perseverance, cause others to be encouraged to speak the Word of God more courageously and fearlessly.

I was asked, by my friend Theresa Donlon, to co-lead a bible study called Holding onto Hope, based on the book of Job. God has laid this study on Theresa’s heart to share how God has been using it to heal the areas of hurt and devastation over the loss of her daughter Anne. This hurt is so fresh and raw for her and God is using it to make a huge impact on the women who attend. If you have time today please say a prayer for us and the women who are attending this Bible Study, there are many women who are attending that have lost children and of course many others that have experienced many other types of loss. It is intense and heavy and tonight from 7-9 will be our second meeting. I just finished the final few notes on the part that I am teaching and thought I would jump on here and share last week’s notes with you.  

When I asked God to reveal to me what part I was to bring to the table for this study he began to etch this visual in my mind.

But before I share with you what that is I want to tell you so of the fears that I had from it.

1^st I want you to know that I am not a counselor and by no means a grief counselor, however we do live under the covenant of The Counselor and God was sure to tell me that he needed nothing from me other than to be obedient. As a matter of fact he kept giving me this verse, Isaiah 44:24 This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself,. In other words…He’s got this.

I want to make sure most of all that I do not water down what the word of God says about loss and how we are to handle it in our walk with Him. After researching all of this I began to worry about offending you or somehow watering down your grief and your feelings that you are having over it. If that ever happens please know that it was not intentional, we all grieve differently and at a different pace, if you ever question something that I say please pull me to the side (or e-mail me in this case) before small group and talk to me about it. We want this to be a safe place to share our hearts and walk through this together.

My prayer for each of us, including myself, is that we walk away from this bible study feeling better equipped with what the Word of God says about all this and to walk away with some healing and freedom over it. Not that life will go back to normal or that the hurt and the sadness will all be washed away, but that we will be able to conform to the new normal and receive His blessings and grace over our life so that ultimately He will be glorified through our tragedies.

Ok, so what we will be studying together are these 3 topics.

1.     The calm before the storm – I believe this is the place that we spend most of our time in. When life is moving right along and things are as normal as they ever will be, a time where there is nothing real pressing.

2.     Raging waters – I think this is the place that most of us are currently in. This is probably the reason that brought us here to this study. This is a place that has plucked us from our normal routine and thrown us into the middle of the ocean in the midst of a raging storm surrounded by the raging waters.

3.     Still waters – This is my favorite, this is where God carries you out of the storm into the calmness of his cove. A place of rest and peace and an overwhelming pouring out of God’s love.  

I believe that at any time in our life here on this earth we can put ourselves into one of these categories.

I’m going to tell you something that may make you uncomfortable or that many of us do not want to hear…

The enemy wants this tragedy, whether it is loss of a loved one, a marriage, financial loss or the loss of peace of mind due to a sickness, whatever it may be. The enemy literally wants this to be the death of you. It says right here in John 10:10, ¹⁰ The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

What you need to know here is this, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior you need to know that He will not allow that to happen.

You see when we become a child of God the Holy Spirit dwells within us. We do not serve a God that is laid in a grave. He is risen and seated at the right hand of God. There is power in His name; there is power in the Words that God has given us. He is our Healer, our counselor and deliverer and we can rest assured that He is fully equipped to protect us from the ultimate schemes of the enemy.

I think what happens to so many of us is that we are so blindsided by these storms. Before we know what has hit us we find ourselves in the midst of these raging waters, in the midst of the storm, and although we are hanging on to our life vest, meaning the Word of God, we are barely staying afloat. The water is crashing over our heads and we are doing everything that we know how to do to keep from drowning.

It is so intense and overwhelming for us that we never realize that the enemy has come along and slipped a rope around our leg with a 1000 pound anchor tied to it, and my friend…it is dragging us under. He knows that not only can we spiritually and emotionally become exhausted over this but we will eventually physically give out and not be able to stay afloat anymore.

Listen; don’t think that I sit around talking about the enemy all the time and giving him credit for the bad things that are happening in my life. I do however believe that there are times it is appropriate and we need to stand up call it what it is and deal with it so we can move on from it.

It is time that we cut the ties that are binding us to the things that are pulling us under. Galatians 5:1 says, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.^(A) Stand firm,^(B) then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

And when we are freed from that, then we are able to be tossed back and forth in His waves of mercy and grace and His love will wash over our soul. You see, we still have to ride out the storm for some reason there is no getting around that, but it can’t last forever.

It is just like anything else we experience; God wants to carry us out of the storm a changed person. When we enter into the still waters with him we are forever changed. We then began to see how he has molded into the person he wants us to be to fulfill the plan He has for your life.

We may never understand why God allowed this thing to take place in our life, we may never get the answers we are looking for until we are in eternity with Him. One thing I do know is that if morning by morning we are still waking up, even when we don’t want to, we have to make the decision to make. Are we going to live this life out in Victory and Freedom or are we going to give in to defeat?

2 Corinthians 4:7-10  But we have this treasure in jars of clay^(A) to show that this all-surpassing power is from God^(B) and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side,^(C) but not crushed; perplexed,^(D) but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted,^(E) but not abandoned;^(F) struck down, but not destroyed.^{(G) 10} We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus,^(H) so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.^(I)

There is power in our God, and there is hope and healing waiting for us.

I’ll close with this and can’t wait to get into this next week, the writer Nancy gives us scripture resources for the reading chapters in our study. The very 1^st one she lists is this.

Isaiah 43:2, When you pass through the waters,^(A)
I will be with you;^(B)
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,^(C)
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.^(D)

I don’t know about you but that is encouraging to me.

I hope you realize that this was just my notes to keep me on track and there was a lot more shared within the group. I’m hoping that Theresa will want to post her notes here too so you can get the full story.

If you live in the Magnolia area and feel that this study is something you need then please come join us. We meet at Magnolia Bible Church off of Nichols Sawmill Road. It is from 6:30-9 (study starts at 7, we visit and snack on desserts until then) on Tuesday nights. We would love to have you!

Learning to lay it down

I feel like it has been so long since I’ve jumped on here. I’m glad to have some time today to sit back and reflect on God’s grace and mercy from the past few weeks. I know that I have so much to share I’m just not sure how to say any of it. Have you ever been that way? I’m not mad, not depressed, not frustrated…just quiet. I think this is where I am learning what God means when he says in Psalms 46, Be still and know that I am God. Sometimes when we refuse the stillness, he simply removes the words. I am hoping that today I will be able to find the words to share and glorify all He is doing.

This Saturday, May 26^th, my Papa went home to be with the LORD, just 3 days short of his 72 Birthday!!! I use exclamation marks because as most of you know this would not have been the case just a few weeks ago. Yes, he met Jesus somewhere in the middle of the night, in the middle of his suffering and pain…I can’t wait to one day know how that came to be. Thank you to everyone who prayed for his salvation, what a blessing to know that he is home.

I’ve been in this really strange place lately and haven’t been able to pull myself out of it. I’ve struggled with setting healthy boundaries and on the flip side I’ve struggled with the ones that I feel God has torn down. I’m realizing that for the past few months I have been burdened with things that I should have laid at his feet long ago. Twice this week I have come across this verse and I know it was for a reason, after seeing it again I have received it as confirmation over so many things. Isaiah 44:24, This is what the LORD says, your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself. Anyone else need to hear that today? I have struggled and worried over so many things and when I wasn’t worrying about them I convinced myself I was not equipped to proceed further with them. The problem is I was focusing on me, not Him. All along God has been waiting for me to turn to him and lay it at his feet. I love the part of the verse that says “by myself”. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that he doesn’t need my help in the ways that I typically offer it. My part is to bend the knee and lay it at his feet, which for me at times is easier said than done. You know he wants to grab me by my ears sometimes and say, “release it! Let it go, you are only making this more miserable on yourself (well let’s be honest…on all of us)l I can handle it…by myself!!!” (By the way have you ever read any articles on writing with exclamation marks? Don’t, I did and I feel like an idiot every time I use them, especially when I group them!!!!!!!!…grin).

Every time I think about my life right now overwhelmed is what I use to describe it. I’m not sure if I am in a place where I am taking all the things that I hear, read and know and applying them personally or if this is just part of the work that God has called me to do. All I know is that it is hard to deal with such tragedy and grief for others when you are going through your own grief yourself. I say every bit of this out of love and compassion for everyone and every situation that I am praying for but I believe if we are not careful it can become a stronghold of worry and fear in our own life. What I want to point out is that our commitment and devotion to seeking out the will of God is what makes every bit of being part of the sorrow and suffering worthwhile. God uses it to sift us and to inspire us so we become stronger and are more equipped to discern the moments when we need to lay it at His feet. We just need to be sure we are covering and tending to our own life and situations in prayer too. Do you know why this is so real for me? Because each and every day God blesses me with encouragement, obedience and sometimes just a good ole dose of tough love (when I am willing to receive it). If I allow it he always comes through, yes even when the answers are no, and then when I am open to the change the blessings are poured out and my soul is quenched again.  

Some may disagree with what I am about to say but my relationship with Jesus has always been one that I seem to be begging for more of. I constantly ask for more clarity and direction. I daily ask for him to speak to me and equip me with the discernment and wisdom to understand his power in my spirit and to cleanse me of the ways of my flesh. I want to know Him and understand Him in a way that against all odds I will stand a proclaim Him as my savior and to know that my devotion to Him in this life is one that has purpose. I simply want to know Him and love Him more.

The gift that I want to give to my family and my children and the ones that God allows me to serve with is this. Psalm 103:17-18 “But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.” What greater gift then to be able to stand by the ones you love and the ones you serve than to plant a seed that from everlasting to everlasting God will tend to and make grow. It is turning into the most beautiful thing that I have ever been allowed to be a part of. I just want to know that I’m not doing this alone and even though at times I may feel secluded God has blessed me with a group of women (family and friends) that let me know they pray for me. It is truly life changing. Just in case you are feeling alone I want to offer that up for you. If you have anything that you need prayer over please comment on the blog or e-mail me kristy.watts53@yahoo.com and I will do just that. I would like to close with a few prayer requests myself, don’t feel obligated but if God lays it on your heart I assure you it won’t be wasted.

1.      Pray for my family for healing and comfort over losing my Papa, Gene Clare

2.      Pray for my 16 year old brother who is in Tx Children’s dealing with blood on his brain (from boxing with a friend). He is doing really good now but we are praying that they do not have to go in and drain it. He is the one who just lost his mother (my step-mom Mona Pennington) last August. This has not been easy to deal with without her for my dad and brother.

3.      I have a serious case of writer’s block, so please pray for me to have discernment over this. I need clarity if this is a closed door from God or just something to work through.

4.      I am co-leading a bible study with Theresa Donlon (she lost her daughter in the terrible car accident this February). It is a study on hope after loss. It is becoming larger than either one of us expected and we just need to be covered in prayer along with everyone who attends. It starts on Tuesday June 12^th from 7-9 for 9 weeks.

Thank you!!!

Ephesians 1:17-23, I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸ I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,¹⁹ and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength,²⁰ which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹ far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²² And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³ which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

For your splendor

Back in March I was sitting with my small group in Bible Study, when I felt this overwhelming urge to have them pray for my Papa, Gene Clare. I explained to them that he was not a believer and has always thought that we were naïve to believe that Jesus was the Son of God. I told them that we were about to head up to his place to bring back our camper for the summer. Little did we know how blessed we were to have spent the Fall and Winter up at his place soaking up the outdoors and making sweet memories with him. I told them how God had put it on my heart to print out every post I have made on this blog and give it to him. You see we have never really had the chance to fully share the love of Christ with him. He would always shut us down, give his 2 cents and not want to talk about it anymore. That day we prayed that the Holy Spirit would flow through those words and the scripture that he would read would stir something within him.

When that day came I handed him the folder just before we left. He opened it up and said, “Thanks for the religious stuff, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.” (With only a small amount of sarcasm.) For the next few weeks I prayed that something from this would resonate within him, I felt such an urgency for him to know Jesus and wanted so badly for this to be what did it.

During the first week in April I talked to him about our annual trip to Round Top to go Antique shopping. We shop there every October and April and for some reason I could not make this trip work out. I was so bummed because this was such an important thing between us and for the past 4 years I can’t ever remember missing one. He was unusually ok with us not going this time, but I could tell it bothered him too. I was a little nervous that he was upset over what I had given him the few weeks prior and I really wanted the chance to see if one on one he would say anything. Little did I know what we would face in the weeks to come.

In between all of this he had called me one night and asked me to look up the symptoms of Kidney Stones, I tried to get him to let me come take him to the doctor but he said he was fine and would call if he needed anything. A week or two later he called my Aunt and asked her to come bring him some medicine, that the pain was too intense for him to handle. This is a man who has taken serious pride over not stepping foot into a doctors office since 1964. I think we were all really nervous and unsure what to expect. That was nothing compared to what happened to my aunt when she arrived to pick him up. He walked out of the house told her he had shot his chickens and that he was coming home with her. Let me just say this would be like me shooting my dog or a man back in the day shooting his horse. We knew then that it was serious and that he knew he wasn’t coming back.

The next time that I saw him was April 17^th, sitting in an ER many miles from his home. The doctor had just come in a delivered the news that he had Pancreatic cancer and that it had spread to his liver and spleen. They wanted to admit him but he refused treatment and wanted to go back to her house.

As we rode this horrible wave of emotions I began to remember how God had put it on my heart so strongly the past year for him to know Jesus. I looked up at him and asked him if he had read what I had given him. He said, “Yes I did honey, I read every bit of it. Then I sat it by the firewood to burn.” I knew at that point he wasn’t impressed. Oh, you want to hear the funny part about the chickens? I had not heard what had happened to them. That day I left the hospital to pick up my kids from school and came straight home. Will wasn't able to make it to the hospital so he went to my moms to visit with everyone. While he was over there I sent him a text and told him that we needed to go the next day and get his chickens and keep them here. I knew Papa would be worried about them and my kids loved tending to them so it would be perfect...He never respnded to my text. WHen he got home he had the strangest look on his face, I asked him if he got my message about them and he looked at me a while and then broke the news. I was so devastated...poor Will!

A few days later I went to visit with him; I tried to be so careful about how to approach this and prayed that the reality of dying would help. He told me that he was glad that we believed what we did and that he was fine. He said that he really didn’t believe in Heaven and that non of it mattered anyway, once your dead, you are dead. I knew that my Aunt and mom had already been having these conversations with him so he was already on guard and ready to fire, he was quick to shut me down and made it clear he did not want to hear it.

A few minutes later my husband came over and Papa jumped up and asked Will to take him for a ride. He said, “I know the girls are worried about my soul but I’m really ok”. Will said, “Well Gene what is your take on Jesus Christ?” He said, “Well, I think he was probably a good man and a good teacher but you could probably hold a gun to my head and I wouldn’t tell you that he is the Son of God.” When they were finished with their drive my Papa came in and told my aunt, “Well…Will believes like you all do.” He wanted so badly for someone to tell him that he was right.

That Sunday our Pastor issued a two week challenge. He asked us each to commit to praying for someone every day to come to know Jesus. He also asked us to pray for the opportunity to be able to share the Gospel with them personally. It was obvious to me who my person was. So I sent out an e-mail to my small group and several other family and friends within the church. I thought this is going to take way more than me, so I put together an army (and so did the rest of my family). At the end of those two weeks I sat in service that Sunday morning so discouraged. I wanted to be one of those that stood up in front of the whole congregation and share a true miracle from God. I went home that night and prayed, I asked God, “What else can I do?” I was so afraid that he was going to die and go to hell…how do you cope with that? I sat down that night and wrote him a long letter. I told him how much he meant to me and the kids and how much we loved him. I explained how I was a lot like him in my practical thinking and how I understood the history of God way before I could grasp the spiritual part of Jesus. I felt that it was truly spirit lead and was at peace sending it to him. I told Jesus, here is water…turn it into wine.

The next few days were awful. He was so sick and couldn’t stop throwing up. We knew that if Hospice wasn’t called in that he wouldn’t make it and he would have no part of them coming in. That Wednesday afternoon I sent out another e-mail updating everyone, when I crawled into bed that night so sad and exhausted I told God, “We have planted a garden…now Jesus you have to bring the rain.” All night I would wake up and pray for rain. Sometimes the thought of his suffering was more than I could take and I would beg God to take him, and then I would panic and tell him that if this suffering would bring him to know you then it was ok. Over and over I just simply prayed for rain.

Somewhere in the middle of the night God must have opened the flood gates and let the rain pour out. That morning I received a phone call from my mom and she was crying. I was so afraid that he had died and when I was able to ask what was wrong she simply said, “He knows Jesus.” That morning my aunt went into his room and told him that she was calling in Hospice, before she left she told him, “I love you daddy…and so does Jesus.” He said, “I know, I’ve been talking to Him.” You can only imagine the surprise in that. They sat and talked for a minute and she was able to confirm that he knew he was going to heaven.

Now some of you may read this and think, yeah…that’s great. We have heard time and time again that people get saved on their death bed out of fear etc. No! What you don’t understand is that this was a man adamant about what he believed in or I should say in what he did not believe in. Do you understand that this means Jesus actually revealed himself to him? This wasn’t just a glimpse or a thought that Papa had, and it most certainly wasn’t something that he prayed for. No we prayed, a whole army prayed and God listened. Jesus is real…He is so real.

I can’t help but want to know how it happened. What were those first moments like when he experienced the realness of the one thing that he had been so certain didn’t exist?  How amazing! How beautiful! How awesome is He.

I just wanted to share and give encouragement over this. Our pastor asked me if I would be willing to share this story yesterday during service. Even though I was nervous and afraid of being emotional I thought, how could I not give God the glory?

This my friend is what it is all about. Living this thing out. Serving where He leads us to serve and by all means not giving up in praying for people, even if that person is yourself. I want so badly to hear from you. I know that this is just a small window that God has given me to share the love of Christ through. So I ask you this question. What is yours?

I jumped on a blog the other day (lproof.org) and the writer put the words of one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. It is called For Your Splendor by Christy Nockels. Here are the lyrics but please find it and listen to it.

“I’m so concerned with what I look like from the outside.

Will I blossom into what You hope I’ll be.

Yet You’re so patient just to help me see.

The blooms come from a deeper seed that You planted in me.

Sometimes it’s hard to grow when everybody’s watching.

To have your heart pruned by the one who knows best.

And though I’m bare and cold, I know my season’s coming.

And I’ll spring up in Your endless faithfulness.

With my roots deep in You, I’ll grow the branch that bears the fruit.

And though I’m small, I’ll still be standing in the storm.

‘Cause I am planted by the river by Your streams of living water.

And I’ll grow up strong and beautiful, all for Your splendor, Lord.

So with my arms stretched out, I’m swaying to Your heartbeat.

I’m growing with the sound of Your voice calling.

You’re bringing out the beauty that You have put in me.

For Your joy and for Your glory falling.”