Fear vs. Faith

Well, here it is the big one for me. Fear. I am crippled by it at times and at least once a week I convince myself that I need medication for it. Why is it that after walking so close with Him that this one still has hold of me? The answer is….I have no idea. I can only believe that it is a lack of trust and faith in Him and a constant struggle in letting go of my control (Ok so I may have some idea.). It makes me sad to even admit this to you but it does no good to keep these thoughts to myself. I told myself from the beginning that if there were anything that I wanted to bring to this blog it was honesty and I am just being uncomfortably honest with you on this one.  I remember hearing Beth Moore ask us this question one time and I wanted to ask it to you today. Do you believe that God is more of a taker then a giver and that your blessings are only to be received in heaven? It was huge for me, and my answer was yes. I wonder how many of you feel that way.  Since then I have made it my focus to be healed in that area and to be able to except the love, plan and blessings that my God has for me. Of course my answer to that question could not have been farther from the truth; but unfortunately inside my fear stricken way of thinking it was the first time I was able to hear my fear put into words. I have asked God to be brutally honest with me in showing me the sin in the lack of my faith and trust and thought you may get a kick out of one of the ways He has chosen to show me. I guess in this situation there was a third option, choose faith, fear or… move. About two and a half years ago our friends were watching our children when I got a phone call that went like this, Hello…Kristy, I’m about to freak you out…silence…is everything ok?...Well, everyone is ok but we just killed a baby copperhead in your son’s bedroom. I’m not sure what my response was from that point on or maybe I’m just not willing to type it but needless to say I was freaking out. Now, I am married to a manly man, a good old Lubbock country boy, but when it comes to snakes he handles it about as good as I do. When we got home that night I was obsessed with searching every part of our house.  All I could think of is that if it was a baby then there was a family and I was praying that their family wasn’t living with my family, follow me? I searched and searched until after midnight when I finally, reluctantly crawled into bed. I was so freaked out by the thought of a poisonous snake anywhere close to my children and hated feeling so invaded. After tossing and turning forever I finally prayed. I thanked God for protecting my children and that I in no way believed that it was just luck that the snake was found where it was. I also said that I trusted Him to show me at any time if there were ever another snake and believed that He would be faithful again. Let’s just say He has been faithful…and consistent. Since then I have had another snake in my dining room, several (and I do mean several) encounters outside (kids included), a few at the lake and just last week one in my garage. We have more snakes here then Swamp Brothers, at least that is what Braydon says and every single time God has been so totally in the middle of it. He has made things happen and people move in ways that my children were protected and the snakes were found. I know that God prompted/warned Will and I the other night to not let Braydon go in the garage by himself and as Will opened the door the snake was there in between him and the car. After everything settled I nicely asked God (with a smile on my face) if we could be done with this one. I pictured Him smiling at me saying, I don’t know, you tell me. I trust Him completely in this circumstance but have seriously contemplated leaving our place in the country and moving to concrete. Unfortunately, my fear goes deeper than snakes. Isaiah 7:9b says, If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all. I think I’m done sitting, anybody else? I was able to share for a few minutes with two of the ladies in my small group yesterday and was blessed by their encouragement and stories of faithfulness. I am already feeling a bit of freedom in the area that I am struggling with and I truly believe it is because I just put it out there for prayer. We don’t have to be ashamed or worried that it is wrong to have doubts or concerns with God. We just have to be prayerful and diligent about letting Him help us defeat it. At the funeral for my step mom the preacher looked over at the casket and said these words that I will never forget. “She was promised nothing more than this.” In some weird morbid way it made sense to me and I was overcome with peace that my Father knows me and has every single second of my, my kids life, written out. There is not one single thing our worry can change (I’m speaking to myself here). My mind knows this but at times my flesh is still afraid. Matthew 6:27 says, Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Isn’t that the truth. I wonder what would happen if we took all that fear and laid it at His feet and in exchange grabbed a good healthy dose of fear of the LORD.  Deuteronomy 10:12 says, ¹² And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Therefore we walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor 5:7). Hebrews 11:1 says, Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Should faith have substance? I looked up the definition of substance and really loved this one. Substance: the actual matter of a thing, as opposed to the appearance or shadow, reality. The Greek word for substance in this scripture is hupostasis meaning that which stands, or is set under a foundation. So based on those descriptions yes faith has substance. It’s not just something we agree to while speaking out into the sky. It is a choice, a lifestyle.  It becomes an active reaction to an action taken against us. So when we are up to bat what will we choose faith or fear? There’s not a third choice here.  Grab your bible or someone else’s bible (if you don’t have a bible send me a message and I’ll make sure you get one) Ask God to give you a few scriptures in dealing with your specific situation. If you don’t know a lot of scripture go to biblegateway.org and do a word search (example: fear, worry etc.) write them on an index card and study them like your life depended on it. Place them under your pillow, carry them with you in your car. Post them in your kitchen, your bathroom mirror, your desk, wherever it takes…whatever it takes. Isaiah 55:9-13 says, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me (void) empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.  … This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever.” - I will close with this last thing. Make Him your beginning and your end, at least. Before our feet hit the ground running spend some time with Him. Grab a notebook and start talking to Him. He is all about relationship and relationships take two. Ephesians 6:10-18, (I almost put this in the King James Version, it’s worth looking it up) ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God and pray…Be blessed my friends, I’m praying for you.