Learning to lay it down

I feel like it has been so long since I’ve jumped on here. I’m glad to have some time today to sit back and reflect on God’s grace and mercy from the past few weeks. I know that I have so much to share I’m just not sure how to say any of it. Have you ever been that way? I’m not mad, not depressed, not frustrated…just quiet. I think this is where I am learning what God means when he says in Psalms 46, Be still and know that I am God. Sometimes when we refuse the stillness, he simply removes the words. I am hoping that today I will be able to find the words to share and glorify all He is doing.

This Saturday, May 26^th, my Papa went home to be with the LORD, just 3 days short of his 72 Birthday!!! I use exclamation marks because as most of you know this would not have been the case just a few weeks ago. Yes, he met Jesus somewhere in the middle of the night, in the middle of his suffering and pain…I can’t wait to one day know how that came to be. Thank you to everyone who prayed for his salvation, what a blessing to know that he is home.

I’ve been in this really strange place lately and haven’t been able to pull myself out of it. I’ve struggled with setting healthy boundaries and on the flip side I’ve struggled with the ones that I feel God has torn down. I’m realizing that for the past few months I have been burdened with things that I should have laid at his feet long ago. Twice this week I have come across this verse and I know it was for a reason, after seeing it again I have received it as confirmation over so many things. Isaiah 44:24, This is what the LORD says, your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself. Anyone else need to hear that today? I have struggled and worried over so many things and when I wasn’t worrying about them I convinced myself I was not equipped to proceed further with them. The problem is I was focusing on me, not Him. All along God has been waiting for me to turn to him and lay it at his feet. I love the part of the verse that says “by myself”. Sometimes I just need to be reminded that he doesn’t need my help in the ways that I typically offer it. My part is to bend the knee and lay it at his feet, which for me at times is easier said than done. You know he wants to grab me by my ears sometimes and say, “release it! Let it go, you are only making this more miserable on yourself (well let’s be honest…on all of us)l I can handle it…by myself!!!” (By the way have you ever read any articles on writing with exclamation marks? Don’t, I did and I feel like an idiot every time I use them, especially when I group them!!!!!!!!…grin).

Every time I think about my life right now overwhelmed is what I use to describe it. I’m not sure if I am in a place where I am taking all the things that I hear, read and know and applying them personally or if this is just part of the work that God has called me to do. All I know is that it is hard to deal with such tragedy and grief for others when you are going through your own grief yourself. I say every bit of this out of love and compassion for everyone and every situation that I am praying for but I believe if we are not careful it can become a stronghold of worry and fear in our own life. What I want to point out is that our commitment and devotion to seeking out the will of God is what makes every bit of being part of the sorrow and suffering worthwhile. God uses it to sift us and to inspire us so we become stronger and are more equipped to discern the moments when we need to lay it at His feet. We just need to be sure we are covering and tending to our own life and situations in prayer too. Do you know why this is so real for me? Because each and every day God blesses me with encouragement, obedience and sometimes just a good ole dose of tough love (when I am willing to receive it). If I allow it he always comes through, yes even when the answers are no, and then when I am open to the change the blessings are poured out and my soul is quenched again.  

Some may disagree with what I am about to say but my relationship with Jesus has always been one that I seem to be begging for more of. I constantly ask for more clarity and direction. I daily ask for him to speak to me and equip me with the discernment and wisdom to understand his power in my spirit and to cleanse me of the ways of my flesh. I want to know Him and understand Him in a way that against all odds I will stand a proclaim Him as my savior and to know that my devotion to Him in this life is one that has purpose. I simply want to know Him and love Him more.

The gift that I want to give to my family and my children and the ones that God allows me to serve with is this. Psalm 103:17-18 “But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.” What greater gift then to be able to stand by the ones you love and the ones you serve than to plant a seed that from everlasting to everlasting God will tend to and make grow. It is turning into the most beautiful thing that I have ever been allowed to be a part of. I just want to know that I’m not doing this alone and even though at times I may feel secluded God has blessed me with a group of women (family and friends) that let me know they pray for me. It is truly life changing. Just in case you are feeling alone I want to offer that up for you. If you have anything that you need prayer over please comment on the blog or e-mail me kristy.watts53@yahoo.com and I will do just that. I would like to close with a few prayer requests myself, don’t feel obligated but if God lays it on your heart I assure you it won’t be wasted.

1.      Pray for my family for healing and comfort over losing my Papa, Gene Clare

2.      Pray for my 16 year old brother who is in Tx Children’s dealing with blood on his brain (from boxing with a friend). He is doing really good now but we are praying that they do not have to go in and drain it. He is the one who just lost his mother (my step-mom Mona Pennington) last August. This has not been easy to deal with without her for my dad and brother.

3.      I have a serious case of writer’s block, so please pray for me to have discernment over this. I need clarity if this is a closed door from God or just something to work through.

4.      I am co-leading a bible study with Theresa Donlon (she lost her daughter in the terrible car accident this February). It is a study on hope after loss. It is becoming larger than either one of us expected and we just need to be covered in prayer along with everyone who attends. It starts on Tuesday June 12^th from 7-9 for 9 weeks.

Thank you!!!

Ephesians 1:17-23, I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. ¹⁸ I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints,¹⁹ and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength,²⁰ which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, ²¹ far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. ²² And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, ²³ which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

For your splendor

Back in March I was sitting with my small group in Bible Study, when I felt this overwhelming urge to have them pray for my Papa, Gene Clare. I explained to them that he was not a believer and has always thought that we were naïve to believe that Jesus was the Son of God. I told them that we were about to head up to his place to bring back our camper for the summer. Little did we know how blessed we were to have spent the Fall and Winter up at his place soaking up the outdoors and making sweet memories with him. I told them how God had put it on my heart to print out every post I have made on this blog and give it to him. You see we have never really had the chance to fully share the love of Christ with him. He would always shut us down, give his 2 cents and not want to talk about it anymore. That day we prayed that the Holy Spirit would flow through those words and the scripture that he would read would stir something within him.

When that day came I handed him the folder just before we left. He opened it up and said, “Thanks for the religious stuff, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.” (With only a small amount of sarcasm.) For the next few weeks I prayed that something from this would resonate within him, I felt such an urgency for him to know Jesus and wanted so badly for this to be what did it.

During the first week in April I talked to him about our annual trip to Round Top to go Antique shopping. We shop there every October and April and for some reason I could not make this trip work out. I was so bummed because this was such an important thing between us and for the past 4 years I can’t ever remember missing one. He was unusually ok with us not going this time, but I could tell it bothered him too. I was a little nervous that he was upset over what I had given him the few weeks prior and I really wanted the chance to see if one on one he would say anything. Little did I know what we would face in the weeks to come.

In between all of this he had called me one night and asked me to look up the symptoms of Kidney Stones, I tried to get him to let me come take him to the doctor but he said he was fine and would call if he needed anything. A week or two later he called my Aunt and asked her to come bring him some medicine, that the pain was too intense for him to handle. This is a man who has taken serious pride over not stepping foot into a doctors office since 1964. I think we were all really nervous and unsure what to expect. That was nothing compared to what happened to my aunt when she arrived to pick him up. He walked out of the house told her he had shot his chickens and that he was coming home with her. Let me just say this would be like me shooting my dog or a man back in the day shooting his horse. We knew then that it was serious and that he knew he wasn’t coming back.

The next time that I saw him was April 17^th, sitting in an ER many miles from his home. The doctor had just come in a delivered the news that he had Pancreatic cancer and that it had spread to his liver and spleen. They wanted to admit him but he refused treatment and wanted to go back to her house.

As we rode this horrible wave of emotions I began to remember how God had put it on my heart so strongly the past year for him to know Jesus. I looked up at him and asked him if he had read what I had given him. He said, “Yes I did honey, I read every bit of it. Then I sat it by the firewood to burn.” I knew at that point he wasn’t impressed. Oh, you want to hear the funny part about the chickens? I had not heard what had happened to them. That day I left the hospital to pick up my kids from school and came straight home. Will wasn't able to make it to the hospital so he went to my moms to visit with everyone. While he was over there I sent him a text and told him that we needed to go the next day and get his chickens and keep them here. I knew Papa would be worried about them and my kids loved tending to them so it would be perfect...He never respnded to my text. WHen he got home he had the strangest look on his face, I asked him if he got my message about them and he looked at me a while and then broke the news. I was so devastated...poor Will!

A few days later I went to visit with him; I tried to be so careful about how to approach this and prayed that the reality of dying would help. He told me that he was glad that we believed what we did and that he was fine. He said that he really didn’t believe in Heaven and that non of it mattered anyway, once your dead, you are dead. I knew that my Aunt and mom had already been having these conversations with him so he was already on guard and ready to fire, he was quick to shut me down and made it clear he did not want to hear it.

A few minutes later my husband came over and Papa jumped up and asked Will to take him for a ride. He said, “I know the girls are worried about my soul but I’m really ok”. Will said, “Well Gene what is your take on Jesus Christ?” He said, “Well, I think he was probably a good man and a good teacher but you could probably hold a gun to my head and I wouldn’t tell you that he is the Son of God.” When they were finished with their drive my Papa came in and told my aunt, “Well…Will believes like you all do.” He wanted so badly for someone to tell him that he was right.

That Sunday our Pastor issued a two week challenge. He asked us each to commit to praying for someone every day to come to know Jesus. He also asked us to pray for the opportunity to be able to share the Gospel with them personally. It was obvious to me who my person was. So I sent out an e-mail to my small group and several other family and friends within the church. I thought this is going to take way more than me, so I put together an army (and so did the rest of my family). At the end of those two weeks I sat in service that Sunday morning so discouraged. I wanted to be one of those that stood up in front of the whole congregation and share a true miracle from God. I went home that night and prayed, I asked God, “What else can I do?” I was so afraid that he was going to die and go to hell…how do you cope with that? I sat down that night and wrote him a long letter. I told him how much he meant to me and the kids and how much we loved him. I explained how I was a lot like him in my practical thinking and how I understood the history of God way before I could grasp the spiritual part of Jesus. I felt that it was truly spirit lead and was at peace sending it to him. I told Jesus, here is water…turn it into wine.

The next few days were awful. He was so sick and couldn’t stop throwing up. We knew that if Hospice wasn’t called in that he wouldn’t make it and he would have no part of them coming in. That Wednesday afternoon I sent out another e-mail updating everyone, when I crawled into bed that night so sad and exhausted I told God, “We have planted a garden…now Jesus you have to bring the rain.” All night I would wake up and pray for rain. Sometimes the thought of his suffering was more than I could take and I would beg God to take him, and then I would panic and tell him that if this suffering would bring him to know you then it was ok. Over and over I just simply prayed for rain.

Somewhere in the middle of the night God must have opened the flood gates and let the rain pour out. That morning I received a phone call from my mom and she was crying. I was so afraid that he had died and when I was able to ask what was wrong she simply said, “He knows Jesus.” That morning my aunt went into his room and told him that she was calling in Hospice, before she left she told him, “I love you daddy…and so does Jesus.” He said, “I know, I’ve been talking to Him.” You can only imagine the surprise in that. They sat and talked for a minute and she was able to confirm that he knew he was going to heaven.

Now some of you may read this and think, yeah…that’s great. We have heard time and time again that people get saved on their death bed out of fear etc. No! What you don’t understand is that this was a man adamant about what he believed in or I should say in what he did not believe in. Do you understand that this means Jesus actually revealed himself to him? This wasn’t just a glimpse or a thought that Papa had, and it most certainly wasn’t something that he prayed for. No we prayed, a whole army prayed and God listened. Jesus is real…He is so real.

I can’t help but want to know how it happened. What were those first moments like when he experienced the realness of the one thing that he had been so certain didn’t exist?  How amazing! How beautiful! How awesome is He.

I just wanted to share and give encouragement over this. Our pastor asked me if I would be willing to share this story yesterday during service. Even though I was nervous and afraid of being emotional I thought, how could I not give God the glory?

This my friend is what it is all about. Living this thing out. Serving where He leads us to serve and by all means not giving up in praying for people, even if that person is yourself. I want so badly to hear from you. I know that this is just a small window that God has given me to share the love of Christ through. So I ask you this question. What is yours?

I jumped on a blog the other day (lproof.org) and the writer put the words of one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. It is called For Your Splendor by Christy Nockels. Here are the lyrics but please find it and listen to it.

“I’m so concerned with what I look like from the outside.

Will I blossom into what You hope I’ll be.

Yet You’re so patient just to help me see.

The blooms come from a deeper seed that You planted in me.

Sometimes it’s hard to grow when everybody’s watching.

To have your heart pruned by the one who knows best.

And though I’m bare and cold, I know my season’s coming.

And I’ll spring up in Your endless faithfulness.

With my roots deep in You, I’ll grow the branch that bears the fruit.

And though I’m small, I’ll still be standing in the storm.

‘Cause I am planted by the river by Your streams of living water.

And I’ll grow up strong and beautiful, all for Your splendor, Lord.

So with my arms stretched out, I’m swaying to Your heartbeat.

I’m growing with the sound of Your voice calling.

You’re bringing out the beauty that You have put in me.

For Your joy and for Your glory falling.”

And the trials begin

If you remember, last week we talked about how we should count it pure joy whenever you face trials, because that is what produces your faith. I want to list a few of the things that have been brought to my attention in the last 10 days.

1.    Deadly tornados across the states

2.    A friends sister and husband lost their 1 week old baby, they have no children and this will be the 2^nd baby they will have to bury this Friday…unbearable

3.    3 grandfathers (from different families) are in the hospital each with serious conditions.

4.    A family lost their grandmother and their 3 year old little boy in a car accident

5.    A distant relative’s wife was shot & killed & her baby was kidnapped, thank you Jesus the baby was found

6. A friends dad had another stroke this week & is in the hospital and now his mom had a mini stroke today & is in the hospital too.

7.    My Papa, whom I am extremely close to, as well as my family and more importantly my 6 year old son. Was just diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer…it is everywhere. For my family this will be the 3^rd inner circle person we have lost in 2 years. There are so many details and sadness that I want to tell you, for now I can hardly pull it together to write this.

I mean what do we say to all of that? How are we supposed to function at all? I want to take my family and run, but where to?

I’m sure some of you may stop here, and I wouldn’t blame you. Either way in life, we have to talk about it; we have to figure out how to cope.

James tells us it is not if, it is when. I’m thinking this is “when” for a lot of us. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed, let me rephrase that, sometimes I am devastated by God allowing me to experience firsthand exactly what I’m studying. This morning I had a huge feeling of regret that I decided two weeks ago to study James. It wasn’t until I sat down and prayed about it that I realized whether I had chosen to study James or not it would not have changed the trials, this was just a way for God to help me push through it.

So the question I am asking today is, “What do we do about it?” Before I attempt to answer this let’s take a look at James 1:13-15.

 ¹³ When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; ¹⁴ but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Let me just say that I am “tempted” the throw in the towel on this one. I am mad, I am heart broken and I am confused. But today I am thanking God for making these verses so fresh in my mind.  

I want to receive the temptation and act on it. I want to half way believe that God is in charge and loves us more than we could ever imagine. I want to half way be tempted to believe that bad things are going to continue to happen because evil has so consumed this world and live in constant terror over what is to come next. I want to run and hide. I am tempted to be mad…

I wonder if all the ones (that I mentioned) who are laying their loved ones to rest this week are tempted in some of this too. I hope that I am not taking what James 1:13-15 is saying out of context. I believe that any desire other than the desire of doing what is right in the eyes of the LORD comes from the evil one. Just as it says after the desire is conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

We cannot say that God is tempting us, however we do have to take on the test and pursue the limits of our endurance and faith we have in him. I don’t want Satan to gain one ounce of satisfaction through any of this.

Romans 5:1-5 says,

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

And one of my favorites.

2 Corinthians 4:7,

⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We have to take a stand against the schemes of our enemy. If we don’t have hope in our Lord Jesus Christ what do we have?

James 1:16-18 says, ¹⁶ Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. ¹⁷ Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ¹⁸ He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

I love that he is our heavenly light, who does not change like shifting shadows. He wants us to be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. He wants us to give our first and the best of all we have to him at all times, in all trials. (The first-century Christians were the first generation to believe in Jesus as Messiah, James is referring to them as the first fruits in this passage.)

I’m not saying that I am there yet. Our family is about to travel down a long hard road that none of us are excited about. I’m praying that at some point I can understand and experience what James means by counting pure joy in these trials. I had such intentions of finishing the first chapter of James today; I’m guessing God had other plans.

So today just commit to pray, pray and pray again for all of those you know that are hurting. We need it. And please pray for the salvation of my Papa, Gene Clare. He has not yet accepted Christ, the seed has been planted for years and this may be what has needed to happen to make it grow. I hate it, but I really wouldn’t be able to function if that doesn’t happen.

In Him

The crown of life

The book of James

James, Jesus’ brother, wrote these letters to the Jewish-Christians who were scattered throughout the Roman world. Back then they did not have the support of established churches, so he wrote to them as a concerned leader to encourage them through faith during difficult times.

James 1:1-12

¹ James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

Trials and Temptations

² Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴ Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Don’t you love when someone just speaks out of truth and honesty sometimes? James isn’t suggesting that you may go through trials or here is some helpful information in case trails come your way. No, he says, Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

The King James Version uses the word patience instead of perseverance. The Greek definition for patience in this passage is: hupomone – meaning cheerful, or hopeful, endurance, constancy.

We will be tested wont we? I see an ongoing cycle in my life that looks a little something like this.

(1) The testing and the perseverance of the trail, (2) the sifting & the cleansing I receive from the trail and (3) the freedom and the joy in receiving the crown of life once we’ve made it to the end of the trail. Repeat – Anybody else?

James goes on to say,

⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Picture this visual with me. You’re in the middle of the ocean, for this purpose will represent your trial or circumstance. Because you are a Christian (meaning received Jesus as your personal savior) God equips you with a boat (representing the Word of God). When you trust God with your circumstance he becomes your anchor (which represents faith). So when the waves began to swell all around you, you hold steady.

Then picture with me what it may look like to have doubt in trusting God. You are on a boat out in the middle of the ocean, you are trusting God to save you but you are doubting his ability or love to do so. So you’re riding on the Word of God but lacking (doubting) the trust and faith for God to see you through. You’ve now become a lost vessel among the sea being tossed and carried at the mercy of something that you have no control over.  You set sail without your anchor and if the storm gets too intense you take the risk of capsizing and sinking, disoriented and afraid. I sometimes think that Satan tries to make our trials look easier or more manageable than what they really are to try and convince us that we can go about it alone. Trust me, we need our anchor.

James continues;

⁹ The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. ¹⁰ But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower. ¹¹ For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business.

What James is talking about here is this. Riches in earthly wealth mean nothing to God. He cares about the riches in our heart. He wants what will last eternally, not the things that will be burned up eventually. When we are the most humble before God, we are the richest. We become poor when we think our material richness trumps the power and authority and love our LORD has over us.  1 John 2:17¹⁷ The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Let's close with this. James 1:12

¹² Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I read in the study notes of my bible that the crown of life is like the victory wreath given to the winning athlete. We see all throughout scripture God showing us the different crowns we will receive. Example: the crown of life (James 1:12, Rev 2:10), the crown of Joy (1 Thessalonians 2:19), the crown of righteousness (2 Tim 4:8), crown of glory (1Peter 5:4), just to name a few. We know that after the rapture takes place we will stand before Him and lay them at His feet. How exciting is that. I don’t want to be finished too quickly having to watch everyone else lay theirs down, I’m not meaning this in a competitive way (I promise!). I just want to honor Him by laying down all the times I've believed Him and trusted Him fully with His plan.

I can picture a time in my life that I jumped ship and found myself in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a raft. I was clinging onto something that I made into my anchor and hung it around my neck. Once the first blow from the storm came I was over taken by the waves and nearly drowned.

We need to be equipped. He offers us the Word of God, Faith and Trust. We have to persevere through the storms and allow him to be our anchor. Then we will walk away with the crown of life, let me say that again, then we will walk away with the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Join me next week as we look into the 2^nd part of James 1. It gets really good.

Do they know?

Romans 10:14-15

¹⁴ How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? ¹⁵ And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written:

“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace,
Who bring glad tidings of good things!

How do they know if they have not heard? For me like so many others, It wasn’t so much that I refused to know Jesus, I just didn’t really know a whole lot about him. I remember when I began to feel the stirring within me. I also remember when the thought of all of this was just too much…too strange and I shut it down completely. But then I remember that day when God revealed himself to me in a way that scared to me to death. And then I just knew.

I don’t always have the right words to say to someone in sharing the Gospel and I sometimes walk away from the conversation feeling as if I failed or went about it wrong. I even get bogged down by the times of my life that were a poor reflection of Him, if even a reflection at all, and wonder if people can see Christ within me now.

I so hope that is the case. I hope that today, even through my failures and my flaws, that my life would be a witness for Him.

Our Youth group is meeting every Sunday morning with the purpose of making sure we are equipped to correctly spread the news, the good news of the Gospel. I wanted to share with you one of the ways we are learning, it is called the Roman road.

Romans 3:23 - ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 6:23 - ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 5:8 - ⁸ But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:9 - ⁹ that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 10:13 - ¹³ For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”^[

Romans 5:1 - Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have^[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

Romans 8:1 - There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Romans 8:38-39 - For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 I tried to piece together what I could with this, there may be a few scriptures that I am missing, I’ll let you know next week after I fully learn it myself. I just thought that this would be a good reminder or good notes for each of us. I also wanted this to be available to someone who has never read it before also. God’s word is so full of the Gospel and this is only one of many ways to share it. I hope that it blesses you and that you will bless someone else by it today.

Years ago I wrote this poem. I must admit I laughed a little when I came across it today. It’s a little all over the page, but I guess you are used to that if you have been reading this blog long. All I know is that what this poem is about was absolutely everything for me once I knew Him.  

Silence

No beating wings, no hymns of praise – the angels gathered starring at his face.

And one not dare to ask God why, they knew the time had come for his goodbye.

 The time before, he called they went, but things were different now His days were spent.

The screams the blood they could not bare – Release us LORD, send us there!

The crown of thorns that pierce His face, remove them LORD in this we pray.

Well give him ours, each one we’ve earned, except this offering for His return.

The cracking whips, the tarring skin, the damaged body no doctor can mend.

The angels hearts are calling out, their mouths won’t open for fear of shout!

Whose voice was it that calmed the sea, that filled the sky, that breathed in me.?

You are the one that spoke it all and still right now your grace with fall.

 
Those words you spoke, even to the shores, “Stop right here, you may come no more.”

Then stop this LORD speak your command. He just turned to them and raised his hand.

The angels stopped in fear of what was next, in silence he spoke and in silence they wept.

Now that they could see the plan, but not for Jesus, it was for man.

One by one they hit their knees with tear stained faces and hearts unease.

Wings that weren’t broken but could not fly, moments that seemed forever but raced right by.

They watched them lift Him off the cross. God let us go, we will keep watch!

When God said yes they flew they went, straight to their savior and protecting Him.

LORD lock us up and send them away they’ve done enough just let us stay.

 The angels watched as they cleaned His face, they searched for the beauty the blood had erased.

They stood close by, not an inch they moved, starring as they lay Him in the tomb.

Crucified He was, resting He is now, waiting for His day when God’s word would be lived out.

Preparing in the Kingdom now for the right hand of the throne, Jesus is our Savior, to all this will be known.

Three long days have passed; oh how much longer can this take, this moment we want to cherish, for this moment we cannot wait.

Raise Him LORD and let’s rejoice we want to see His face.

The time has come they’ll be set free, but will they thank you for this grace?

The glories yours we must confess, in silence we believed,

now sound the trumpets and beat the drums a celebration is due indeed.

Now lift your voice and sing a song of praise to our King,

you truly are the faithful one, because of this they are redeemed.

We bow our heads and lift our praise to the right hand of the throne, because of this you’ve saved their souls and claimed them now your own.

Man will know Him by His name and live beneath His reign.

They Kingdom come thy will be done they’ll pray this in His name.

He gave his Son, his only Son, for you it had to be, His mercy and His grace stretched out; worthy child I have one plea.

So take this gift that dwells within your heart that once was stone. He loves you more and asks you now, surrender before his throne.

k

Freedom from slavery

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I wonder if any of us would be willing to admit that we are slaves to our baggage (sin past & present, strongholds, addictions, resentment, fears, judgment…). Not only was I a slave to it, and unfortunately still am with a few things, I was exhausted over it. I think what scared me more than the thought of laying these things down at his feet was the thought of never getting rid of them.  

I had the chance to speak to our Youth group last night and I wanted to share something that I shared with them. These 3 things have really been what changed it all for me. They are a combination of things that God revealed and words spoken from people who ministered to me.

1.     God will never allow full contentment, peace or joy when we choose to fill the voids in our lives with anything other than God first.

2.     After being saved or turning from sin. God does not intend on mending every relationship back into a present relationship in your life, nor does he intend on molding every addiction back into a “manageable” substance in your life. He also will never set you free from your strongholds and expect you to take back a part or a percentage of it and apply it back into your life. There are times when God draws a line in the sand and says no more.

3.     God can change the desires of your heart.

You see what took me a long time to grasp was Jesus didn’t just die on the cross for the redemption of our sin’s. He died so that we would have freedom too.

 I don’t know what it means to you to have freedom, but I can tell you freedom for me meant more than any of my baggage ever did. To know Him is to love Him, to lay it all down to Him is freedom.

The beautiful thing about God is that he doesn’t tell us to get our lives together first then come to him. No, he says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

I was so tired of being tired. As a matter of fact I am a little worn out  with the baggage I have yet to let go of, and I have no one else to blame but myself. You know the verse that says, (Matthew 6:13-14) Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. I always wondered if the real problem was that only a few could fit (on account of their baggage that is)…who knows.

I do know that God really wants us to experience joy, peace and happiness in our life. If you have time today read James 2. I love verse 26 that says, As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Sometimes God requires action on our part. Sometimes were are just too stubborn or afraid of what will happen if we did let some things go. It doesn’t require you being the one to know how to fix everything; you just have to be willing to trust Him with the outcome. (I should really take my own advice on this one…).

Before I close I wanted to go back to #3, God can change the desires of our heart. This one is huge for me, mainly because it wasn’t easy for me to lay most of my things down to Him. I didn’t joyfully go through this process; if it was that easy then it wouldn’t have been that big of deal for me to lay it down in the first place. Through time and prayer God changed the desires I had for each of them. All I had to do was ask.

We can do this; we can walk in freedom and leave the dark shadows of our “baggage” with Him. (could I possibly say that word any more times today J)

FOR IT IS FOR FREEDOM THAT CHRIST HAS SET US FREE, STAND FIRM THEN AND DO NOT LET YOURSELVES BE BURDNED AGAIN BY A YOKE OF SLAVERY!!!  

One Body

1 Chronicles 28:9-10

⁹ And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will reject you forever.

¹⁰ Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.

When you read this scripture does it make you think about what God is calling you to do? I realize that unlike Solomon I am not called to the task of building the Temple or unlike Noah to build an ark. I am not Moses who was called to meet with God on the mountain and chisel straight from the mouth of God the commandments on the stones or even like David to conquer the giant & eventually reign as the greatest King of Israel. The list of people that God used throughout the bible are long and I hope that when you spend time in the word reading about them you would allow each story to strike the cords in your heart.

Although I am not one of them, I am a child of God. What I cannot deny is that I am destined to fulfill the calling that God has placed upon my life to reflect His glory. I want you to remove the thoughts you may have that your “calling” has to be huge or on a level that you cannot comprehend. Although this may be true for some, or even for you at times, what I want you to think about today is how we can make sure that we don’t miss out on the times when God is calling you to be a vessel for him, even if it is for one person.

If God has placed it on your heart to rise up and be a prayer warrior for someone then don’t think twice about it. Get up and pray. If God has brought a situation to your attention and you feel the Holy Spirit directing you to encourage that person or counsel that person through it, than through prayer be willing to serve. The word of God says that we are The Body of Christ, One Body with many parts that work together.

Let’s read a little about what God says about our gifts (callings) and what we are to do with them.

 1 Corinthians 12

Spiritual Gifts

¹ Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant.

² You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols.

³ Therefore I tell you that no-one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, Jesus be cursed, and no-one can say, Jesus is Lord, except by the Holy Spirit.

⁴ There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.

⁵ There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.

6 There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

⁷ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.

⁸ To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,

¹⁰ to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.

¹¹ All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

One Body, Many Parts

¹² The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.

¹³ For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body— whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free— and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

¹⁴ Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.

¹⁵ If the foot should say, Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.

¹⁶ And if the ear should say, Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body.
¹⁷ If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?

¹⁸ But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.

¹⁹ If they were all one part, where would the body be?

²⁰ As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

²¹ The eye cannot say to the hand, I don't need you! And the head cannot say to the feet, I don't need you!

²² On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,
²³ and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,

²⁴ while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it,

²⁵ so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other.

²⁶ If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

²⁸ And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues.

²⁹ Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles?

³⁰ Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?

³¹ But eagerly desire the greater gifts.

1 Corinthians 13

Love
¹ If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

³ If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

¹⁰ but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

¹² Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We all have gifts. We are all called. We are the Body of Christ, one body with many parts. I can make a list a mile long of people that are hurting, sick or need salvation. I have times that God puts people on my heart by way of sorrow to make me aware that I need to pray for them right then. There are times in the middle of the night I will be woken up by a thought or a dream I have of someone and I know that I need to actually wake up, and get out of bed and pray.

How powerful we would be if we just committed to being a vessel for God and prayerfully listened to his direction. We are all needed and loved; God has a plan for your life, a calling to stand up and thrive against.

There are times when I feel as if I am a slave to my fears or thoughts. It isn’t until I rise up (meaning to make a move) and claim my freedom in Christ over it. We are not supposed to be held down by slavery, we are however supposed to seek wisdom and discernment over everything in our life. If God has placed something on my heart I don’t hit the floor running, I hit the floor on my knees to seek his direction on where my approach is supposed to be.

Galatians 5

¹ It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

I have been really blessed by many believers who have done exactly what I am talking about today for me. There is something that is so thrilling for me when someone calls me or somehow lets me know that God has put me on their hearts to intercede in prayer for (especially when they haven’t a clue as to what I may be going through). I feel like it is one of Gods special blessings to let us know that He knows.

Today, I just wanted to encourage you to keep pressing on (or for some of you to start pressing on). We all have struggles and doubts and insecurities. Just remember that it isn’t “us” that have the power and  authority, we just need to be a vessel for it to flow through.

Do not fear

Isaiah 41:10, So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This scripture has been given to me by two different people in the last four months. One of the things that I have learned about God is that when something is repetitive, you need to take note. I have often felt alone at times in dealing with fear. I blame my lack of faith and trust I have in God, or I blame anxiety.  All I have to do is open the bible and see over and over again that God does not want me to live in fear. I came up with the following (I’m drawing a blank as to what this is called) to help me when I am feeling fearful or attacked. These are scriptures that I have become very familiar with over the years. I am calling them my “war” verses.     

F – Fiery darts from the wicked one - Ephesians 6:16b

E – For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

A – Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God – Philippians 4:6

R – In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength – Isaiah 30:15

F – Fear not for I am with you – Isaiah 41:10

A – All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant - Psalm 25:10

I – I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me       Psalm 23:4b

T – Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding – Proverbs 3:5

H – He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. Psalm 18:17 /  O LORD my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me. Psalm 30:2

I have felt so spiritually attacked for the past two weeks. I have had to come up against and deal with things that I was not happy about. The wildest thing about the last two weeks is that God orchestrated a group of women to meet with me and minister to me and encourage me in the midst of all of this, none of them knowing that this was going on at the time. God continued to show me that although our enemy is real, the victory over my life has been won. We are battling a constant war; the great news is the ultimate defeat has already been won. If we have given our lives to God then we have the promise of eternity with him. If not, then God help you, if you were to have witnessed just a few of the things that I did you would be running. I am so thankful that I have a relationship with Him and I knew which direction to run to.

Oh, and to add to the attacks that I experienced throughout my dreams and my thoughts, I was able to witness a baby snake that lay just inches from my sons bare feet. Seriously! It’s only February…this can’t be a good sign.

Over and over God kept reminding me of his promise…his covenant.

2 Corinthians 4:7-10 says, ⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

There is freedom in Christ. There is protection in His blood. I feel more equipped today then I did before this experience and my confidence in God is higher. Although I was at war I could not be touched, through my faith in who I am in Him I am saved.

Psalm 144:1-2 ¹ Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war,
my fingers for battle. ² He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield, in whom I take refuge...

I realize this post may be a little heavy for some, you should have been in my shoes while it was happening. I wanted to share this with you because He is our conqueror and our deliverer. I don’t want to forget that, and I don’t want to live a day without Him.

On a lighter note, I downloaded Mandisa’s song Good Morning while this was going on. Until the dreams stopped I would get up in the morning a play it, and when it got to this part of the song I sang it with all my heart, “I went to bed dreaming, you woke me up singing, get up get up hey…good morning”. Oh how that was a good morning when it was over.

1 Peter 5:8 says, ⁸ Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

 I wish things like this weren’t true, but unfortunately it comes with it. I do not fear evilness, I fear not giving myself over to the plan that God has for my life. When it comes down to it, I am thankful to be a threat. And I am thankful that I can be fully dependent upon my God who upholds me with his righteous right hand.

Thank you LORD for the sacrifice you gave us through your son. May you give us mentors and leaders to teach us and place us in the positions to be the same for others. I pray for unity in the Body of Christ. I pray that anyone holding back on their commitment and walk with you will lay their burdens down and trust you. Let our walk be a vision of beauty to you, make straight our paths. Give us the security to be released from our fears and our strongholds. Help us to know and love you more.

In Him